Skittering Thoughts

I've been whining in the past about my lack of companionship, but recent event have come to light that I had forgot about until now. A girl or two have tried to hug me at work and I've had incidental brushes against various people lately. It seems I forgot how much I cringe when people touch me. I've somehow forgotten how much I hate to be touched, but its still there. All those little details about me I ignored when I melted away into the military are beginning to resurface, parts of myself I've hidden away for whatever reasons. Ever since I was young I shied away from physical contact, but I'd learned that telling people you don't want to be touched just caused them to want to tough you all the more. In a self-discovery phase in the hazy period around college I started to hug everyone I knew when saying hello. To conquer a fear of touching, I think. But then it was Air Force time, and they don't appreciate gay stuff like hugs in the armed forces. So hear I am. Nearly thirty and incredibly uptight whenever anyone comes to close to me.