Am I 10% Psycho?

I'm getting back into the swing of taking classes again and its hard. I'm one of those guys who can sit in class and stare out the window and get a 'B', or study my ass off for an 'A'. My goal's to go into the medical field so I gotta do the latter and its so hard, my motivation is close to zero unless I'm actively thinking about the future. Sadly 'Giving a Shit' is something you're born with.

Continuing on, I'm a psychology student. I developed an interest in the subject by looking through my grandmother's textbooks when I was growing up with her. When you think about it, everything we experience or do as humans are filtered through the brain, which made (and still does) me think this was the key to everything about people and would make it the most interesting and useful subject to study. I was lucky to meet people who felt this was a decade later in college (Matt King, I know you're out there!). Sadly this isn't the typical reason a college student elects to major in psychology, its because they think something's wrong with them and they want to break out the Diagnostic Manual to treat themselves with a little frontier medicine. While there were some serious people in the Psychology honors society, in general it was an actual pack of loonies.

Another decade later and I'm back in school and I can't help but wonder what's up with my head that's put me where I'm at now. It's no wonder, having an interest in medicine, psychology, and the executive bureaus I've been watching tons of House and Law & Order. With my difficulties with emotions I've began wondering if I'm a little psychotic. This isn't the dramatized psychosis of broadcast and cinema, but the more technical side involving brain processes.

I usually run on auto and let other people determine the tone of our relationship. People experience things differently as well as create, forget, and re-edit their memories of those experience. It can be unsettling to think that people you know not only don't think of you differently from how you think of them, but their memories of you and vice versa don't coincide.

I don't have a true grasp on some emotions and I'm aware of this. I tend to let others determine the nature of our relationship. This seems to be a bit weird to bounce around life, but its all I can do sometimes. Or maybe I'm normal and just need to stop self-diagnosing myself. It should be the first thing they teach these crazy psychology students.