Squeezing Hash Through a Sock

Hello, non-existant people.

The above title is totally misleading, unless you can somehow find meaning in it for yourselves. My name is mostly unimportant since I didn't choose it for myself. Instead, let me espouse my acomplishments rather than various accidents of birth. I'm a psychology student at Arizona State, which is perhaps the best explaination about my personality, as all psychology students are fundamentally insane (studying the innerworkings of the human mind is the method they use to find out why they're broken on the inside). I began college in 2000 and was conscripted into the military in 2003 in an unbelievable tale that I bother not retelling since no one will believe me. I spent 4 years learning afghani to route out terrorists and 1 year as a pharmacy technician, since domestic spying is illegal and I would require civilian employment upon exiting the military. My hobbies include reading, claiming to write, comedy, and other stuff that's very tedious to jot down at present.

I expect no one to actually read this post and with no expectations I can freely fail at this endeavor, as I've failed so many times before.

Sta makh sha peisha darkra.